I am tired, & we haven't even started yet.

Omg the last 30 days… to say a lot has happened is an understatement - and that’s personally in addition to everything else in the wide world at large. To address the personal items without the external chaos feels cheap and disingenuous, so…


To say I’m unhappy with the outcome of the election would be to put too mildly what has become an ever present booming of foreboding in my ears - flowery language for “I don’t feel good about this at all” - and at the same time I remain completely unsurprised. That a populace with decreasing media literacy has taken that same unwillingness to read between the lines into the voting booth was honestly to be expected. That fear-mongering dominated over hope is unsurprising. I feel there’s been a long tradition of voting against something else rather than for something - and by and large that pretty much played out last week exactly.

I am still processing it all, unsurprised and still stunned and forming all of my usual backup and contingency plans. To voice too loudly the concerns I have about future policies seems hasty, and also I’m too preoccupied with that effing Cabinet nominations. Mostly I think I plan to read a lot, and think about what I’ve read.

And make a 2025 bingo card, for my sanity.


In a more personal mode - I finished some things. Two things. The beetle impasto painting, & the tattoo design. I haven’t finished any of the books I start reading, but I have purchased 9 more volumes of varying subjects.

We (husband and I) also went to the Nelson to see the Hokusai exhibit - which I may have to write about later because this is enough of a disjointed mess of a post without dragging another artist into it.

And then there’s Annatar…

That’s actually coming along really well.

Morgoth’s crown - constructed of wire, paper maché, hot glue, more hot glue, heavy gel medium, paint and silver gilding is finished. There was a moment when my husband - coming home from a long library day to find me on the couch covered in paint and things, made mention of the fact that I could probably find a 3D print pattern of it in a minute and use either of our college’s labs to print it out in a fraction of the time I was spending on it. And yes, I could - in fact I did. One etsy vendor selling the pattern for 6 dollars, and another selling the print for less than 40. But that wasn’t the point. The point was to make it - and it turned out pretty well.

The belt - pattern changed for reasons is also pretty much complete - it just needs grommets which will take all of 5 minutes. I learned a whole heap about crafting with EVA foam - how to carve and cut and paste it. Priming, and the 7 layers of paint it took for full coverage.

The robe/dress is coming along - I did a muslin mockup for the first time in my life. Ordered fabric swatches from Mood and a company in Portugal to find the right fabric - which I then silkscreened to get that gorgeous pattern onto. That pattern itself was about 8 hours of obsessively studying various screen shots to find most of the angles of, and it’s close. Not perfect, but 75% accurate. Fortunately I work at a company that does silkscreening, and was able to have the screen burned there, and then do the actual printing myself after hours on the partially sewn robe. I may yet go into the seams and create joining lines so that the seams all “match”, but I also may not as they are largely not too noticeable and the paint strokes I’d inevitably make may stick out more than the gaps do. There’s some possible refitting to do, embroidery to add, the trim to finish which is a beautiful gold print fabric I’m going to foil stamp over as the very last thing as the foil itself probably won’t stand up to excess handling.

Additionally the shirt is 50% complete. And after all of that, or next thing to start at least is that leather wing collar. And buy a wig. And then it’s done?

And once it’s finished I expect to collapse for a bit in a fit of “what now?”

Probably some coding.




October Accounting

Current List of Unfinished Projects

  • Dollhouse

  • Beetle Impasto Painting

  • Sea Holly Impasto Painting

  • Tattoo design for a friend

  • Furbinator

  • the writing project

  • the shrimp

  • Books I’ve started reading:

    • Morgoth’s Ring, J.R.R. Tolkein

    • Paths Through the Forest: A Biography of the Brothers Grimm, Murray B. Peppard

    • An Encyclopedia of Fairies, Katharine Briggs

    • The Ladies of Grace Adieu, Sussanna Clarke

    • Jefferson’s Daughters, Catherine Kerrison

    • The Book of Frank Herbert

    • Acceptance, Jeff Vandermeer

    • Unruly, David Mitchell

    • Poverty, by America, Matthew Desmond

    • Into the Bright Sunshine, Samuel G. Freedman

    • A Life Discarded, Alexander Masters

    • The Code Book, Simon Singh

    • A Forest of Kings, Linda Schele and David Friedel

  • the window book

  • Temperature Quilt (doesn’t really count because it can’t be finished until 2026)

  • and probably some other things I’m just forgetting right now…

…which is to say, I don’t need to add another project to this list, but I am creating a Rings of Power Annatar cosplay, and I’m starting this weekend.

Because why wouldn’t I want to dress up as a femme version of this toxic obsessive gaslighter? And honestly I relish the idea of running around at a Con handing out rings to people, especially all of the Galadriels on the floor.

The first thing to take care of is making the crown, which I can do without any of this things I need to order to make the rest of it - wire, paper maché, plaster and paint - all which I have on hand; while I wait for leather and patterns and fabric samples and fabric. How gloss and metallic can I get a finish with no metal involved? I intend to find out.

And maybe inbetween steps while I’m waiting on materials I can finish one or two things off of that list…


Fix it Before it gets Worse

Back in November, having seen too many social media posts of the very fun and tedious temperature blankets that people were knittings, or crocheting (yes there’s a difference, no I will not remember what it is), I got it in my head to make a temperature quilt - because I can’t knit (or crochet or whatever) but I can sew. And I have a mother who quilts to give me advice (who tried to teach me to knit but we both agreed that was a horrible experience). I finally started the monstrosity in December after wreaking havoc on my brain trying to nail down a color scheme and design, and all was going well if slowly until two weeks ago when i decided that the green were flip flopped and needed to be switched.

Which would mean deconstructing everything I’d done, including most of the embroidery I’d finished the previous evening, and piece-mealing the entire thing back together. Or the other option, do nothing, continue one, and let it make my brian itch for the rest of my life.

And so I spent four hours with a seam ripper, and another 12 hours putting all of the pieces back together…. and then the last 2 weeks fixing the embroidery.

Was it tedious and irritating to rework something I’d done once already - something noone but me would know was wrong (wrong in the most subjective of terms) - and yet, it looks better, and having done it I’m so glad I did it. You can still see the leftover lime green surrounding the center hearts where I simply cut them out of the old center square and plpped them onto the new one, and adding more vines and leave around them should help that blend in a bit once my fingertips have stopped hurting from the previous round of embroidery. Or a thimble, I could learn to use a thimble.

The other tiny overdue monstrosity I’ve been working on, and fixing, is a small painting of a beetle I probably started during covid and left off of because it was off center and bothering me. Similarly two weeks ago I relaized I could pull the canvas off the tiny stretchers, reposition it, and then finally finish it in my long term goal of maximalism art in my hall and living room. Coincidentally, the back of the canvas is so much less bulky that I’m a little irritated i didn’t do that ages ago. Unfortunately I don’t have before pictures, but also that’s fine because it was awful and maybe we don’t always need to document awfulness.

This little piece also won’t be done for ages because the whole idea of it is to create a 3-D painting that will hopefully look more like a mounted insect than art, and I’m using the Stuart Semple Lovetone paint which is beautifully and horribly transparent which may, if I’m lucky, lend itself to fun trapped light qualities as I slowly layer it up with heavy gel medium.

And that’s it, that’s the lesson - fix it when you notice it because it will only get worse, and building on a shoddy foundation causes building collapse and brain itchyness.

Also, save your drafts because your computer may be connected to a wireless keyboard in the next room that may get turned on by a cat causing your space bar to freak out - causing you to restart your computer hoping to fix whatever has gone horribly wrong before you remember there’s a keyboard int he next room you probably forgot to turn off the other day… and then you get to rewrite everything you wrote once already.

But it’s fine. Everything is fine.

August

It’s August, and the summer has been so unseasonably cool that in a way it feels as if summer never really started - and here we are tumbling in Autumn. The Fall Semester of JCCC is starting soon and I’m not enrolled in any classes due to a Winter trip to Canada which takes place right in the middle of finals - and truthfully I could use some more time off, as much as I’ll have any time off while working a full time job that has overtime and a busy season from October through November.

I’ve made less art than I would have liked over the last month, but very industrious when it comes to embroidery, my dollhouse and research for a writing project that’s been percolating in my brain for well over two years. There was a visit to the new aquarium in KC (good, but not as good as Baltimore, except for the otters), and a trip to the Kitsap peninsula to scout areas to live when we move in a year or so.

With that planned move there is a list of a hundred things I need to do to make a house ready to sell, assuming the housing market hasn’t completely crashed by the time we’re ready - which is another great reason to not be enrolled in classes this fall: clean the house, empty the house, fix the house. I did just have the back deck rebuilt, and the front porch screened it which mostly helps with the rampant mosquitos… mostly.

I used to be better at conclusions, but the air is trying to kill me and my head hurts too much to care too much.

this is not about the Roman Empire - March 20, 2024

Driving to work this morning, Michael Smerconish was taking calls from listeners about immigration and the border crisis. I was half listening - I stayed up until midnight last night catching up on homework I didn't realize was due (because who assigns homework over Spring Break?) - and a woman called in and started talking about some list Smerconish had of problems in the U.S. (maybe that was it, I can't be arsed to find it on his website), and all of them coming down to critical thinking skills.

And, yeah? A lot of problems probably are the result of critical thinking skills. Go on....

But then.... THEN she started going on about how Tucker Carlson said that the Roman Empire fell because there were too many immigrants and they all joined the army and then mutinied from within and that was why the Roman Empire fell.

Immigrants were not the cause of the fall of the Roman Empire.

Actual Causes:

• Corrupt politicians(emperors) more interested in power than actual governance

• A whole host of economic issues including a slow down of expansion (Rome relied heavily on taxation from all of it's conquered territories), inflation and the debasement of currency, agricultural decline, trade decline, increased taxation, and increased government spending on military campaigns, public works and a lot on nonsense.

• The size of the Empire - it was just too big and too hard to defend.

• Germanic invasions - which is where the "Immigrants" come in. Germanic tribes entered the empire looking for land and resources and were rejected - so they attacked towns and took what they needed to survive.

The sound byte of "immigrants caused the fall of the Roman Empire" sounds sensational - and any sensational sounds byte really needs to be followed up with research because it's entirely too easy to boil down a complex topic to an entirely oversimplified and inaccurate tidbit. Tucker Carlson in particular is notorious for this - and that garbage being repeated by someone lauding the importance of critical thinking skills is especially enraging for me.

Also, please don't come at me for also boiling down causes to a few sentences - I'm not a historian and I'm very tired.