I have a lot of ideas, and not a lot of time to follow through on them, compounded by focus issues. My family is convinced I have ADHD ever since my younger sister was diagnosed with it. A close friend with a degree in TikTok medicine thinks I have autism. The only thinks I have actually been diagnosed with are chronic depression and anxiety - all made worse as the world crumbles to awfulness around us. Occasionally it occurs to me that rather than trying to be a focused person who I am not, that I should lean into my "chaos" and just be more authentically myself instead of constantly trying to cram myself into an easily digestible box of a person.
In that vein, I committed myself to creating a book - something I've wanted to do for a very long time but never had enough of "one thing" to create a book out of. But I do have a lot of "stuff", and if I'm making a book that is truly mine maybe it doesn't need a focus. Maybe I can just make an explosion of everything in my brain, just as it is. I'm extremely fortunate in having a full time job in the print industry, with access to presses and a good standing in a company that will give me very fair prices on as fancy a hardcover book as I can afford to make. Thoughts, poetry, fairy tales, art - all of the things that are in me in print and mine.
My original goal was to have it all finished by August (yesterday) and printed by the end of September. Then I enrolled in a Data Analytics Bootcamp and that is all I've been doing ever since. I have maybe 30 pages of my monstrosity completed, and will have to finish the remained 200 over the next year.
Since I don't know what to do with a Patreon as a creator with no focus, this is officially becoming my accountability tracker. I have a year - 52 weeks - to finish 200 pages. 4 pages a week and it's done. Maybe five pages a week and extra time for QA revisions if I'm being responsible.
If you'd like to follow along, go subscribe to my Patreon. If you want to help keep me accountable, invite friends. I'm adjusting my support tiers to 1$ and "Anything". If I reach 50 patrons I'll make a new tier for process videos - I've experimented with filming while making this way and it's honestly a lot of work AND VERY AWKWARD, but for 50 viewers I'd do it.